Michael Robbins: To the Drone Vaguely Realizing Eastward


This is a poem for President Drone.
It was written by a camel.
Can I borrow your phone?
This is for President Mark Hamill.

Newtown sounds a red alert.
Mark Hamill asks is Ernie burnt?
Every camel’s a first-person shooter.
The Prez’s fez is haute couture.

It seems strange that he should be offended.
The same orders are given by him.
Paging Pakistan and Yemen.
Calling all the drone-dead children.

The camel can’t come to the phone.
This is for the drone-in-chief.
Mumbai used to be Bombay.
The bomb bay opens with a queef.

Note from Michael Robbins:

So a certain news organization has informed me they cannot publish the inaugural poem for Obama they commissioned from me, because it contains the word “queef.” I could drone (ha!) on about the obscenity of a society in which any moron can purchase an assault rifle but a tiny vulgar word is considered too dangerous, but instead, I’m just going to post the poem here. I hope you like it.

N.B.: American drone strikes, which are almost certainly illegal under international law, have killed at least 203 children in Yemen & Pakistan. President Obama has ordered six times as many drone strikes as President Bush did.

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